i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
