Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Your dad touched me again.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
