Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
