K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
