apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
