So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
do nipples grow back?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
