I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
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