I just made out with a guy for $7.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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