Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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