Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
