Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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