Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
