you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
