people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
