so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My vagina just clenched in fear
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