I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize