one might say we're banned from that church
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
