I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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