Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
