I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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