ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
