Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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