I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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