i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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