I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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