dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize