My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
