My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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