You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
