what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Blood and glitter go together right?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
