She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
