so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize