I like to think it a success when the cops are called
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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