He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
