He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
