the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I deserve this hangover.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
