Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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