My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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