i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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