They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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