glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
