They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
