Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
