Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
