i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
