i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize