what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
