i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
COCAINE IS GR8
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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