Don't make out with my wife yet
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
