i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
