if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
