I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
