haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
